I’m a professional mythoclast. If I’m not debunking old myths, I am creating new ones.

Greek_Gods

I’m a professional mythoclast. If I’m not debunking old myths, I am creating new ones.
 
Currently, I have Christianity in my crosshairs.
 
“Jesus died on the cross for our sins.” Hmm.. let’s see about that.
 
1.) The earliest gospels make no mention of Jesus being nailed to the cross. This is an add-on mythological conceit as are his birth date, birthplace, and Davidic heritage. (The Davidic line had long died out.) There are no contemporaneous accounts of his life. “The Gospels were not written by eyewitnesses or by people who knew eyewitnesses” and that “in the entire first Christian century, Jesus is not mentioned by a single Greek or Roman historian, religion scholar, politician, philosopher or poet.” Jesus Historian Bart Ehrman:
 
2.) Jesus is not a Hebrew name, but a Greek hybrid. Like all Greek heroes and gods it has the “is”, “us”, or eous suffix added to it (Isheous) which means possessing the qualities of, relating to, or kinship with a god, goddess, son, father, tribe, etc e.g. Dionysius, Zeus, Theseus, Perseus, Dionysus, Orpheus, Odysseus, etc.
 
As the Synoptic Gospels were adapted from the Greek Septuagint and not the Hebrew Tanakh the hagiography of Jesus is a mythopoeic Greek interpretation and Euhemerist retelling of a Second Century BCE Jewish Angelic figure called “Andou” described by Philo of Alexandria (25 CE) as
 
1. A celestial being and not human
2. The firstborn son of God
3. The celestial image of God
4. God’s agent of creation
5. God’s celestial high priest
 
(This is the verbatim description Paul borrows to describe Jesus in his Epistles)
 
Apparently, there were lots of them at that time). (See Josephus’ Testimonium Flavianum.)
 
The Gospels attribute words and actions to this fictional Isheous/Andou lifted directly from the Greek translation of the Tanakh or OT. The literary conventions, stories, and events attributed to him are classically Greek interpolations borrowed from earlier Jewish Scripture and Homeric Myth. (See Plutarch’s Disciplina Etrusca, or Virgil’s Ecologue, etc.) They prove the death, resurrection, reappearance, and apotheosis motifs were common conceits in fictional Roman and Greek literature composed long before the Greek introduction of Jesus/Isheous/Andou.
 
Excerpt from Plutarch’s Disciplina Etrusca:
 
“This resembles certain Greek fables of Aristeas the Proconnesian, and Cleomides the Astypalaean; for they say Aristeas died in a fuller’s workshop, and his friends coming to look for him, found his body vanished; and that some presently after, coming from abroad, said they met him traveling toward Croton. They say, too, the body of Alcema, as they were carrying her to her grave, vanished, and a stone was found lying on the bier. And many such improbabilities do your fabulous writers relate—“
 
Isheous as a Hebrew Greek hybrid name would translate as he who is (born or is of kin to Adam and Eve.
 
Ish, in Hebrew, means RIB and pertains to Adam. “Ish-ewaah” Ewaah refers to Eve and would mean he who is of kin to the woman forged from Adam’s rib. Isheous would mean he who is of the qualities of Adam and Eve.
 
No, it’s not the Christian revisionist claim YEHOSHUA either.
 
YEHOSHUA or Joshua is a great Hero of the Jewish people and while a Jewish couple would naturally honor him by naming their child after him, it would be ridiculous to suggest that Elohim would be party to naming his Only Begotten SON with either the Greek Name “Jesus”, or a prior biblical hero. ( What, the Supreme Lord of the Universe ran out of names?)
 
There are no vowels in Hebrew. The closest Jesus would translate to is either, ISIS, ISSA, or ESUS all names of preexisting Egyptian, Persian or Gaulish gods of that period, respectively. Julius Caesar wrote specifically about the Gaulish God ESUS in 30 BCE and describes him as a Tree God whose human sacrifices were strung up in trees. (See Bellum Gallicum )
 
So: Jesus died on the cross for our sins?
 
How does it even work?
 
Basically, it is a throwback to ancient, primitive blood magic, human sacrifice, regicide, and barbaric pagan rituals and practices of the Bronze and Iron Ages. It doesn’t work. It never has, and never will. So to suggest that human sacrifice works only in the Christian religion is utterly absurd, or as Darwin describes it ” downright damnable.”
 
In summary, Christian canon and dogma present an impossible, if not, thoroughly corrupt view of both religion and reality:
 
A Supreme Creator (arguably a genius physicist) devises a scheme to travel across 13 billion years of lethal radiation to incarnate as his own “son” in order to be mercilessly slaughtered as a human sacrifice just to pardon his own creation from a 6,000-year-old curse he placed on them.
 
He could have just as easily taught them about Germ Theory and how to wash their hands better. It would have saved hundreds of millions of people.
 
So, even if there was a Jesus it is doubtful he died on a cross, and ludicrous to think he got you off the hook for being a knucklehead.
 
Human sacrifice has been around for a long time.
 
Now, in your most bellicose Sam Kinison voice, repeat after me:
 
IT DOESNT FREAKIN’ WORK!
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